GOOD MORNING! One of the most impressive parts of a Torah way of life, is the body of laws governing relationships between people, and none are more impressive than the laws governing speech. The Torah forbids gossip, slander and
talebearing. Of course, what you speak about begins with your thoughts and your perspective.

(There is a fabulous book, Guard Your Tongue, by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin which is highly readable, easily understandable and has lots of stories to illustrate the laws. I highly suggest buying a copy -- if you want spirituality, one of the best paths is to be careful about what you speak. Available at your local Jewish book store or by calling toll-free 877-758-3242.)

Last week on Tisha B'av many synagogues around North America had a program on judging people favorably. I was very impressed with a handout from the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation, which works hard and effectively to educate Jews about the Laws of Speech. I am reproducing below their piece on "Why not jump to a good conclusion?"

THE SIX QUESTIONS -- A GUIDE TO JUDGING FAVORABLY

The Torah teaches that, whenever we experience or hear about the negative behavior of another person, we must "judge favorably." In simple terms, that means giving the benefit of the doubt. But how can one follow that advice when it seems that the facts clearly point to someone's guilt?

Sometimes we jump to the wrong conclusion because the facts are different from what we perceive them to be. Even if our facts are accurate, we often misinterpret the intent behind them. When we drop the assumption that there was a negative intention behind someone's actions towards us, we automatically deflate much of the anger and hurt that we feel.

Here are six possible ways to analyze a situation and jump
to a good conclusion:

1. Are you sure it happened at all? Sometimes our perceptions of
   what we see and hear are mistaken.

2. Are you sure the details are correct? One small detail can completely alter the scenario. Something may have been exaggerated or omitted that would make a big difference.

3. Do you know if the other person intended harm? Often the consequences are unforeseen.

4. Do you know the assumptions the other person was operating under? Maybe the other person was operating under a misconception that would explain their behavior.

5. Could the other person's act have been the result of an innocent, human error? Everyone has limitations. Perhaps this person lacked experience, was forgetful, distracted or simply didn't think carefully enough before acting.

6. Do you know what events preceded the negative action? The other person may be enduring a great deal of pain, frustration or stress. This might be a response to a specific situation, like an illness or financial loss. Or it could be a deeper, more pervasive problem that effects the person's entire life.

Although the Torah requires us to judge others with favor and compassion, we are not required to accept abusive behavior from others. Physical, verbal or emotional abuse must be addressed and corrected.

For a catalog of books and learning projects for personal growth, contact the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation at 800-867-2482 or check out their website at:
www.chofetzchaimusa.org .

Torah
Portion of the Week
Ekev

Dvar Torah
based on Growth Through Torah by
Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

The Torah states, "For if you shall diligently keep all these commandments which I command you to do them, to love the Lord, your God, to walk in all His ways and to cleave to Him..." (Deuteronomy 11:22). How does one "cleave to the Almighty?"