I'm under the gun with two article deadlines, an urgent project to finish, and I've already pushed another editor to the limit on yet a third assignment. My bedroom could only be described in gentle terms as "disastrous," and the mountain of laundry gives me a dirty laugh every time I forget to close my eyes as I walk past it.
I am totally overwhelmed, stewing and sullen, resentful and angry, when out of nowhere a thought knocks insistently on the bolted door of my mind.
This is not what life's about.
When I get caught up in the grind of life, I forget that the grind isn't life; life is life.
It flashes like a neon banner and lights up my world for a brief moment. The message is profound yet very simple. Nothing novel, but something I tend to quickly forget. How easy it is to fall into an abyss of distraction and lose sight of the big picture. Fact is, when I get caught up in the grind of life, I forget that the grind isn't life; life is life.
I recently remarked to my husband on what a conundrum working parents face. We work in order to have money to better care for our families. But that self-same work that will ultimately benefit our families financially can also take us away emotionally. At the end of the day, the equation can become skewed and the results can be somewhat ironic. Yes, we can afford the new dress, but there's barely a minute to read her a book. You want to go to summer camp? Of course. But I can't really talk to you about your ten-year-old woes right now because I've got to get some work finished...
We're buying into a cheap knock-off when we mistake the means to life for life itself. After all, what is life if not love, nurturing, giving, being, enjoying the gifts we've been granted. The rest is a sideshow -- necessary, of course, but not to the point that it eclipses the main attraction. When I find myself wholly wrapped up in the props and scenery, it's time to take a step back and refocus. It's time to realign myself with what really matters.
So I left my bad mood, my deadlines, and my angst for a brief few minutes. I chatted with my husband, I cooed at my baby, I freed myself from the externals and soaked in the beauty of the moment. It was only a few minutes, but it may as well have been light years. And I committed myself to repeating the pattern -- pulling back from the chaff to savor the wheat if just for a short time every day.
Just for today, I propose a new routine: a Live Life Break. It can take on thousands of forms. A hug and a smile, a quick but meaningful conversation, a few minutes watching the kids play together, or a game of Peek-a-boo with a toddler. It can be calling a parent or grandparent just to say hello, or writing a special note to a loved one. It can be sketching a quick picture of the horizon, or sitting in solitude and connecting with God. It can be a jog in the forest, a coffee klatch with a best friend, or a nocturne on the piano. But no day should go by without living life, at least for a brief while.
Deadlines come and go, as do laundry and dishes. As soon as one job is finished, another one rears its demanding head. A year from now -- even a week from now -- I won't even remember which project was so urgent and kept me in the doldrums, overwhelmed. But a week from now, my baby will be a week more grown up; my daughter will have a week's tests and friendship crises under her belt; my husband and I will be married one week longer; my mother will be one week older.
There is a guilty twinge in abandoning my burden, taking a break from life to enjoy life. But not only does it buy me something priceless, it renews my batteries so I can function better even at the office and with the housework. What a delightful paradox.
My world is divided into two sections: Life and Grind. Grind takes up a lot of time and energy, but Life is infinite and oh so sweet.
(13) Anonymous, August 17, 2012 3:26 AM
Beautiful
Very inspirational and thoughtful article and very well-written. I agree 100% with the message.
(12) Anonymous, June 10, 2012 1:42 AM
A light year is a measurement of distance.
(11) Jill, February 2, 2008 11:55 AM
True for moms at home, too
This is true for moms who are at home, as well. It's so easy to get caught up in the dishes, diaper changing, cleaning, meals, etc. and miss out on the wonderful opportunities to spend time with our family. Sometimes I think at home moms are even more guilty of this because it feels like there's plenty of time to enjoy those moments, so we let time slip away without realizing it.
(10) mike, February 2, 2008 7:29 AM
excellent article
what you wrote about many of us feel. it can also tough to be willing to live with less monetary things to trade with the more spiritual.
(9) SG, January 30, 2008 3:09 AM
Very Inspiring!!!!
Something I have always thought about myself, this is something that is hard to conquer. Thank you for the reminder!!!
(8) Anonymous, January 29, 2008 7:13 PM
Love your writing!
Riva- You write so beautifully, it was a pleasure to read and point well taken. Malka (your room mate from seminary)
(7) Gisele, January 29, 2008 8:22 AM
I feel with our haggard lives we forget to take time
to rest, and catch our breath. Also to see what truly matters in life. Thanks for this very compelling article.It is also hard for all of us to leave our home issues at home, and go to work with a clear head. And to leave the office at work, and not bring this baggage into our precious homes. Both genders have this problem, but it is the woman who has the mosty guilt about this,is willing to admit it, and admit they need help too. Thanks for an insightful look at our haggard lives.
(6) shani, January 28, 2008 12:55 PM
Nice job RevaM! You always know how to put everything in perspective!
(5) Aliza, January 28, 2008 12:20 PM
great reminder!
Thanks Riva for another inspiring article. Having just got to the bottom of the laundry pile only to instantly start over again, I can totally relate. Thanks for the reminder that it's the little things that count.
(4) Rosen, January 28, 2008 9:41 AM
obligations and pleasure
All too often, we get caught up and worried with life's little obligations so much that we take life for granted, as time is not replaceable, unless it can be made up for later. What's most important to someone in the bigger scope of things is more crucial to remember than other minutia. Having the pleasure of a good time can be a mitzvah, understandably.
(3) Rafi Draiman, January 27, 2008 7:51 PM
Meaningful and Exceptional Piece
Mrs. Pomerantz's writing, as always, is both inspiring and inspired. Her creative flair and mastery of the written word drive home meaningful insights in a prosaic, yet engaging style. Kudos on yet another pithy piece!
(2) Mitchell M. Cole, January 27, 2008 12:36 PM
Blessings Upon You !!!
Bless you for that simple yet profound insight. This is an article I will share with my entire family here at home, my wife and 4 children.
(1) Dr. Judy Freier, January 27, 2008 8:57 AM
A Pause Worth Taking!
We need articles such as this one to remind us how important it is to take that pause and LIVE life. As a young widow, I know only too well how short-lived it can be. Spend that time with family; the laundry will get done somehow. Listen to your children; they will grow up all too fast and not want to hear. Think it; say it.....utter the compliments you are thinking; they need to be heard. We get old too fast; those special moments may have passed.....and we won't know what we have missed until it is too late. Thank you for this pause that refreshes.